The shorter story
No fuss no glory
No hero in the sky

Was there ever one?
Or perhaps you made one up a long time ago, cause you needed something good and positive to hold on to-you the hopeless idealist, the blind believer in the ultimate goodness of the humankind, despite the misery and ugliness and sufferings it brought onto itself, making the world a living hell...

Remember your first disillusionments and how badly you took them; remember your first falls and how gracelss they were; remember how badly it hurt and how hard it was for you to let go and how long it would take to get over each and every one of those blows.

Remember that day, that one day when you copied the words from the Golden Notebook:

IN THE WORLD AS TERRIBLE AS THIS LIMIT EMOTIONS

-writing them with shaking hands and helpless determination and yet, still refusing to give up and give in... And yet, you clung helplessly and desperately to the idea, or rather an ideal- cause you knew the delusion was better than having nothing to hold on to...

remember what followed after that and where it got you... remember the hours and how real the possibility of death became.
remember your birthday, last summer and fall... and yet another spring

and what now...